Hello World, I’m Back

Life has moved pretty quickly the past 7 months. I changed a lot, and grown up a lot. I got to start over. Graduate school applications are done, and now I play the waiting game. With school officially over for the time being, I find myself with a lot more free time; I thought about how I missed blogging.

So here I am, a little more wiser, and a little more patched up. For the first time, in a very long time, I feel new; like a phoenix rising from the ashes; reborn. It’s rather refreshing. I’m with someone new. He’s rather refreshing — my bearded hard-working writer — he makes me happy. Love is such a funny thing; it never really works in the way you expect it to. It changes, it shapes, it’s versatile. I don’t regret everything I’ve been through in the past, since it’s what led me here, to this very moment; back on the blogging sphere, back to myself. I’ve missed you.

M.

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Life is a bottomless pit of darkness, but you’re sane enough to climb out of it

Serious post here.

Have you ever been in something you invested in for so long, that’s it’s utter heartbreak when it falls through? I have. Whether it be a job, school, or relationship. Mine was a 6 year long relationship, and I’ve learned a lot that I figure I can share, because if anyone understands heartbreak and life spitting in your face, that’s me. Someone can relate to this somehow.

The truth is no one tells you how hard it is when something you invested so much time in slips away. No one talks about a personal lurking darkness because it’s so stigmatized. I’ve honestly been through hell and back, and experienced darkness. My dark side was depression. I was clinically depressed for about two years in my second year of university, and sought out counselling help to learn how to cope with it. I’m over the hard bits now, but only because counselling helped me through that, and I applied the things I learned to help deal with my depression. There are traces still left over, and I’m not 100% better, but I know I will be.

Why was I depressed? My relationship with R hit a kink in the tracks that caused the train to derail a year and a half into our relationship. I lost my self-esteem, my sense of self, everything that I built. Nonetheless we repaired our relationship after some time and got back together. But I was never whole ever since that major speed bump occurred, and I’m still not. That incident kicked off more, but less intense incidents and setbacks, but we trucked through. Let me tell you what I learned;

1. It’s no use in mending a relationship when you’re not at your fullest potential, it’ll just cause more problems.

2. People make mistakes, and they can change (but only if they truly in their heart want to). Forgive and maybe spend sometime apart to regain what was lost, depending on how bad the situation is.

3. Relationships take hard work. Especially serious ones, it’s unrealistic to think that if it’s meant to be, it should just work. Get that idea out of your head

4. Problems are bound to occur, so it’s important to figure out ways that you can properly deal with them.

  • Good fighting tactics
    • active listening – actually listen and try to understand what the other person is trying to say
    • validating – rephrase what your partner is trying to say, you’ll be showing them your making an effort to understand them.
    • using I feel statements – Start off sentences with I feel _____ to easily let your partner know how it is you’re truly feeling without being accusatory
    • Communicate effectively – don’t be condescending or ignore the other person
    • Make sure they know you still care about them at the end of all this
  • Things to avoid:
    • You statements – things like ‘you do this always’ or ‘you _____’ is accusatory and will set the other person in defensive mode
    • avoid name calling and cursing – it’ll fuel the fire
    • Leaving and never talking about the situation again – if you really need to remove yourself from the situation, just say I need 20 minutes to calm down, and make sure you calmly revisit the problem after, and not sweep it under the rug
    • Avoid kitchen-sinking – kitchen-sinking is throwing in irrelevant topics to the problem, or adding more things to the list to be mad at. Focus on the problem at hand.
    • Avoid gunnysacking – gunnysacking is letting the little things slide by, and bottling them up until one day you explode. It’s important to address issues as they come up, not waiting till one day you explode.

5. Be you, and do the things that you want. Don’t always do things because you feel like you need to, or because you feel like it has to be this way. Do what you actually want. That way, you’ll have a lot less regrets, if any. Stay true to you, and don’t lose sight of that

At the end of the day, a 6 year relationship isn’t something that was easy. There are many other couples who have been together longer, and I’m sure can share with you the mountain of problems they had to work out. R ended our relationship, but I don’t blame him for that. He obviously needs to figure out himself, and so do I, since we were never the same since the first big incident that caused us to walk on eggshells. Don’t get me wrong, perfect times were perfect, but I need to regain what I lost when I was depressed, and I haven’t yet. I’m still here, and that’s what’s important. I’m still sane enough to climb out of that bottomless pit called life, and climb out so that I’ll be on top. It’s a long way, but it’s worth it knowing that I can do it on my own. I’m not sure what’ll happen between R and I, but I know you can’t erase the love we have, and will always have for each other. And of course I’ll always be there for him, because I’m so stubborn and love him wholeheartedly.

But all I know is, right now I need to focus on me, and regain 100% all of the self that I lost. And that’s a damn good reason to stay sane and not give up.

Forever (summertime)sadness

First things first, I’m back people! Sorry I’ve been on a hiatus for so long, I had to put my leisure activities on hold while I focused on my last year of undergrad. Now that I’ve successfully applied to grad school, I can start getting back to my life and the things I really enjoy

My first blog post of 2014 (a little late I might add, I know) is going to be about my passionate hate that all of you share or have shared. Tickets went on sale today to the general public for Lana Del Rey’s North American tour. Like a maniac, I tried to get my hands on some pre-sale tickets with no luck. Naturally I was even more stressed out when tickets went on sale today at 11am. I was primed and ready, and I even had a little help from my housemates just to score 2 tickets to her Toronto show.

I’ve never really had any problems purchasing concert tickets before from Ticketmaster and Live Nation, until today. I started refreshing the page at 10:59am like a crazy person and kept getting the same anxiety-inducing message saying that the tickets were in high demand. We tried for about 45 minutes until Ticketmaster locked our IP address accusing us of being scalpers

Whoops. Note to everyone buying high demand tickets, don’t get your friends to help you if you don’t want your IP address blocked temporarily by Ticketmaster. Sorry for being a super-crazed nut trying to secure 2 tickets. Thankfully, I had Ticketmaster up on my phone and was refreshing that page as well since 11am. High demand, high demand, high demand. Over and over again, like some sick merry-go-round ride with it’s riders chained to the circus animals. Long story short, 12pm hit and I never ended up getting through, and finally a messaged flashed saying sorry there were no tickets matching your search.

Literally me right now

Heartbroken, I’m not ashamed to admit I cried a little two hours later. Stubhub has balcony tickets starting at $150, when those tickets retail for $40. The big kicker; there are more than 1000 tickets on Stubhub available for her Toronto show with the most expensive seat selling for almost $10,000. That’s right $10,000.

I just wanted to say a big FUCK YOU to all of you dicks that purchased tickets for the show just to screw everyone over and sell your tickets at batshit crazy prices. We fans just want to attend to show to enjoy the experience, and listen to the artist we love live. Extortion is wrong, scalping tickets is wrong. The fact that all you assholes take advantage of fans is twisted, and I hope you burn in hell forever.

To the fans who did manage to get a ticket miraculously, I congratulate you and I’m overtly envious. Here’s hoping she adds another Toronto show to her lineup, because these ticket shenanigans are ridiculous

TLDR; Scalpers are dicks

I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT BABY YOU’RE THE BEST

 

UPDATE: FUCK YOU TICKETMASTER, I’M SEEING MY MAIN BITCH THIS SUMMER

Excite

Wow, I’ve Been MIA For a While…

An update on my life!

I haven’t posted anything in a while, because I’ve been too busy training for my new summer job. I finally got hired at Casey’s as a waitress. Yay! I’m all done training now, so I can now return to putting more effort into blogging.

In light of my new summer employment, here’s a comic posted on The Oatmeal about farting waitresses. It’s quite hilarious. You can find the comic here.

10 Medicines That Actually Made Things Worse

I was never really one to take medication for a cold or the flu. There are positives to taking medication, and in some cases necessary, but you should know all the information before you start taking medication to relieve your symptoms. Vaccines can help prevent diseases from being contracted and spread.

Listverse’s 10 Medicines That Made Things Worse gives a list of previously used treatments that actually were believed to have worked. It was like a science experiment gone horribly wrong, like using crocodile poo as a contraceptive. Who actually thinks ‘hey! Maybe injecting crocodile poo up your vagina can stop you from getting pregnant?’ Note, you should probably only get a poo injection if you have C. difficile infection

Be wary of new medications!

A Job’s a Job!

I work as a part-time waitress during school, and let me tell you, there’s a lot of shit that gets thrown at you sometimes. The job really keeps you on your toes, and tests your ability to hold back and keep a smile plastered on your face, even through the worst times.

The great thing about being a server is that you often have juicy stories to tell, and it just so happens that I’m about to share a great one with you.

This incident happened a couple of weeks after I had just gotten hired. Being fairly new at things, I didn’t exactly have our extensive menu memorized. Enter Man. Man had just ordered some takeout over the phone, and the way takeout orders work at my job is that the servers are responsible for packing everything together after the food has been made. I was unaware at the time that this particular dish Man ordered came with hot sauce on the side, so I didn’t put hot sauce in the bag with the food. Man takes his food and leaves the restaurant.

About twenty minutes or so pass, and Man calls the restaurant telling me that I forgot his hot sauce and asks me how he’s supposed to eat this meal without the hot sauce. I stand there kind of stunned. If this guy loved hot sauce so much, why didn’t he have any in his fridge? I explain to him that I’m sorry and that I’m new at this job and didn’t know that the dish came with hot sauce on the side. Man tells me to grab a piece of paper and a pen, and he tells me to write his full name down and his phone number. I do so, since I was unsure of what else to do. After I write down his information, he says to me ‘Now you tell me what you can do for me, since you made the mistake’.  I’ve never been treated this way by anyone before, so I just sort of let out this weird nervous laugh and I say ‘I’m not really sure what to do, I’m really sorry, but if you need the hot sauce, maybe you can stop by and pick up some from our restaurant?’. He doesn’t like this at all. He goes off telling me how he shouldn’t make the effort to go there, and how I should accommodate his wants because I was the one who forgot his hot sauce.

My manager sees the panicked look on my face as he was kept updated on the conversation. He tells me to tell Man that we’ll deliver the hot sauce to him. I explain to Man the option of delivering the hot sauce and he seems satisfied with this. We called the delivery driver and to make sure Man was extremely satisfied, I took a takeout soup container and filled it with enough hot sauce that would last him a good couple days. I wrote a nice little note too, saying that I was sorry and hoped that he had a wonderful night. I even included a smiley face, not out of sarcasm, but embarrassment.

Needless to say, I never forgot the hot sauce ever again that’s for sure.